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If this Valentine’s Day was typical, the flower and confectionery industry will recoup most of their financial losses on this day. They will sell every gift and teddy bear that the public can, and in some cases cannot, afford. However, what they won’t tell you is that by buying those candies, those flowers, that bear, you could actually destroy your relationship. It’s not that these things aren’t good, they are.
The problem in so many relationships comes a few weeks after Valentine’s Day. On Valentine’s Day, every woman observes what her husband or boyfriend is really capable of romantically. The problem is that most men have no intention of maintaining that intensity of romance. Why? Well, many men feel that it would be unreasonable to do so. For these men, I offer 7 simple secrets to keep the fire burning in your relationship beyond Valentine’s Day.
Simple Secret #1 Ask the everyday question
Ask the average man if women talk too much and he will happily say “YES”. However, the truth is; Most men don’t realize that the second most important (2) need a woman has is communication. To keep the flame burning in a relationship, men need to ask their women about their day. Then shut up and listen… and listen… and listen… and listen.
Simple Secret #2 Answer the everyday question
The next step is to be ready to answer the everyday question. If communication is truly a deep need for women, it means men need to contribute to the conversation. Inevitably, after using Simple Secret #1, men will hear something like “how was your day”. It’s tempting to just say “fine” or “okay,” but to keep the flame burning, men need to give their wives a detailed account of their day from the moment they wake up to the moment it ends work comes home. It’s hard for men I know, but it has to be done.
Simple Secret #3 Maintain a stable date night
Listen gentlemen. Even as a little girl, no woman dreams of becoming a housewife that her husband takes for granted. She never wrote in her diary that her secret fantasy was never to see the inside of a nice restaurant except on her birthday, Valentine’s Day and her anniversary. To keep the flame burning in your relationship, you need to make and maintain a regular “date” with her every week. Work with her and find a night that you will go out like you did a long time ago. No one else may attend and no one else may break the appointed day and time of the date night.
Simple Secret #4 Put the kids to bed
Every woman I know gives tremendous energy to their children, their husband and their job. A man must be sensitive to the demands that are constantly placed on him. The average woman works between 15 and 17 hours a day. Consider the efforts of getting the children ready for school in the morning, working all day, then helping the children with their homework, cooking and serving dinner, and putting the children to bed at night, it is clear that this fact is true. To keep the relationship going, take the initiative to get the kids ready for bed at least once a week. Give them their bath, help them brush their teeth, read them a bedtime story, tuck them in, and pray with them. Note: Children may be shocked by your presence during bedtime, but don’t let that discourage you. Maintain this at least two (2) times a week.
Simple Secret #5 Invest in a bottle of bubble bath
What could your wife do while she puts the kids to bed? To keep the fire burning, men need to prepare a nice hot bubble bath. This will keep them away from the kids’ activities in the bathroom preparing for bedtime. Prepare the tub, add the bubbles and run the water. Don’t let her do all this. This way you can chase the kids around the house and get her to bed before she gets out of the tub. Hint: An advanced secret is to offer her a massage after her bubble bath.
Simple Secret #6 Clean up after the kids
At my house we fold clothes, wash dishes, vacuum and make beds. Whatever it takes to lighten a wife’s burden should be done. let the flame burn Find every opportunity to become a porter for that special woman. See how the kids made a mess in their room, don’t go around it. Take the initiative to clean up any mess before she does. Practice uncommon cleanliness and see the difference it makes in a relationship.
Simple Secret #7 Beware
True romance for men has nothing to do with flowers or sweets at all. In fact, true romance can be summed up in one simple sentence. For women, true romance simply means being proactive in meeting their unspoken needs as a boyfriend or husband. Serious about keeping the fire burning in your relationship? Become a student of this woman. Is she worried about her weight? Why not invest in one of the many diet programs and join her. Keep discovering what she likes and dislikes. Do you go to a restaurant and order her a meal and dessert without her being there to tell you what she wanted? What did you always want to be as a child when you grow up? Really pay attention to her. Start listening and take notes if necessary. Anticipate her needs, lighten her load, and tell her how special she is. Do this and make sure the fire burns long after Valentine’s Day.
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